Tips You Need to Know

ADOPTING AFRICAN CHILDREN

Tips to Help You Prepare for Your Home Study

If you're thinking about adopting a child, the words "home study" may sound threatening. Current state laws require that before adopting, a person must be approved by a child welfare authority. The home study is one stop along the way. It is an evaluation of the would-be adopter's likely fitness as a parent.

A home study is bound to make any healthy, sane person nervous. It feels like you're letting a stranger snoop around your home, bank account and personal files. So, if you expect a home study in your future, please accept these Parent Soup tips as a friendly reminder to set your gaze on your goal: the family you want to become.

Talk, talk, talk............

	Explore with your partner the details of your plans to adopt and raise a child together.
	Take turns role-playing the social worker, quizzing your decision. If you plan to adopt alone, find a friend with whom to confide and fully examine your thoughts and emotions. Become as certain as possible that you do, indeed, want to adopt.

Research agencies or social workers.

	The best way to find the right agency or social worker is to ask people you know for referrals.
	Look in the Yellow Pages under "Adoption."
	Check Parent Soup's State-by-State Guide to Adoption Resources.

Gather your facts.

	Track down such forgettable items as previous addresses where you've lived.
	Put your hands on recent years' financial statements.
	Be aware that if you have ever been arrested for a violent crime, your chances of being approved to adopt decrease significantly.

Think about your life.

You have to write your autobiography. Remember, child welfare is not looking for a literary masterpiece. What they want is an idea of the type of parent you'll be, how you were raised and what influenced your growing-up years. Tell the truth, and keep it simple. You do not need to divulge every secret about your personal life, but you can describe what makes you you.

Get a physical examination.

	Perfect health is not required, just desired.
	Life-threatening illness decreases but does not eliminate your adoption odds.

Prepare yourself for private questions.

My favorite: What was the most difficult problem you and your spouse ever had to face, and how did you resolve it? This question made me uncomfortable. It isn't easy to talk about private subjects with someone you've just met. During the course of your home study, you may often feel invaded.

My advice is to keep your eyes on the prize:

You want to form a family. Remember too that after you have your children, they will ask even more personal questions as they grow up!

Make the appointment.

Grab the calendar, pick up the phone; get it over with.

Don't hang up.........give someone else a call

Call a friend.

	Share your joy, excitement and fears. Then ask her to be a reference for you; the agency will want a list of people to vouch for your good character.
	Take the time to call a local support group for adoptive families. If you know people who have adopted, ask them for leads. If not, contact a county or state social service agency for referrals.

Clean up.

Your home does not have to sparkle, but you will feel better if you're not tripping over dirty laundry while giving your social worker the grand tour.

Relax, Relax, Relax...........which will be a little hard, but you will be fine..............

You've already done the hard part: deciding that adoption is right for you.

If you still feel unsure, that's okay too.

A home study is designed to clarify your issues, and your social worker can help resolve them.

Settle comfortably into your family choice, and try to enjoy the remaining time before your new addition arrives.

TIP: Main reasons a person would not be able to adopt a child: recent criminal record, unstable marriage, life-threatening medical condition, chemical dependency, history of mental illness.

TIP: If you belong to an HMO or other health plan that takes a while to get a doctor apt. for a physical, make the appointment now.

TIP: Please tell your social worker of anything that may show up on your "record"

You think life is hectic now!?

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